I’m familiar with the stereotypical panic of impending snow: people driving en masse to the grocery store to stock up on milk and bread. And believe me, after the last couple of winters, and their accompanying snows that left me stranded in my hilltop home, I understand the dairy aisle impetus. But after two big snows in two months, I’m revising my plan. When the weather channel calls for “possible significant accumulation” of snow, I’m jumping in my car and following this route:
I have two elementary-aged kids, and when the allure of sledding has worn off, and we’ve played Dinosaur Monopoly and Littlest Pet Shop, then my young housemates turn to the television. During the most recent snow we watched their Christmas movie, Pixar’s How To Train Your Dragon, every day for five days. Don’t get me wrong: I think this is in the top three kids’ movies released during my childrens’ lifetimes. But by the end of day 4, I didn’t care if that dragon ever got tamed. I found myself lapsing into Craig Ferguson’s broad Scottish brogue: “Aye, me lass and laddie, yer ol’ Ma will liiiiikely go maaad if this snoooow doesn’t melt soooon.” Next time, I’ll have a variety of never-before-seen movies for my kids, courtesy of our library. And some audio books for me.
#2: The Pet Store
We have a puppy. Puppies chew. If they don’t have rawhide, they’ll make do with your new black pumps. Enough said.
#3: Main Street
I will walk down the street and engage every single passerby in conversation. “Hi there,” I’ll say with manic friendliness. “I notice you’re an adult. If you have a few minutes, I’d like to talk with you about absolutely anything besides fairies, talking horses, or superheroes!” I will also walk into and out of every shop, maybe more than once, simply because I can. “Now I’m in the florist’s! Now I’m in the furniture store! Now I’m at the chocolate shop! Now I’m in the artsy studio! Now I’m going back to the chocolate shop!”
#3: The Gym
I have recently discovered a downside to baking every time it snows. However, I refuse to give it up. First because my family considers gnoshing on banana bread/blueberry coffee cake/cranberry scones an integral part of a snow day. And secondly because there are some stressors that only carbs can see me through. On the other hand, when the ice finally melts from my road, I want to make sure I’m not still stranded because I have no pants to accommodate my snowbound backside. Some preemptive exercise may help me break away from home even if my sweatpants are in the wash.
#4: The Drug Store
Because Mommy’s gonna need some Advil.
#5: The “Mart” of my Choice
Every time my son goes out into the snow, he buries his hands and feet in the snow. I don’t think he tries to; it just comes with being a six-year-old boy. I can put him in two layers of fleece and top it with a ski bib and snow boots, and within 20 minutes he’ll look as if someone used him for ice fishing bait. During the last snow, he actually wanted to go outside a third time, but I was out of dry play clothes and mittens. His alternate activity? Recreational whining. So next time it’s supposed to snow, I’ll be Marting for discount fleece wear.
#6: The Grocery Store
Yes, I know, the milk is already gone. But I’ll be needing butter, unbleached all purpose flour and turbinado sugar for baking. I’ll also pick up some lettuce, pretending that while the rest of my family is snarfing cheese blintzes, I’m going to have a salad. Yeah. Right.
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